Every Useless Reason

Hello

2008-07-14T11:41:00.002-04:00

I'm still alive. Just kinda got out of the habit of blogging, or checking blogs. If ayone still reads this..tell me what's new in your life, will ya?

For me? I'm almost 27 weeks pregnant, and it's a girl! So 2 boys 2 girls. Will be fun. Her name is Ameline Gianna (Emma-lean Gee-ahn-ah). She's due October 14th.

I'm still cloth diapering, and will do it with Ameline too, I'll take pics of those stashes soon.

We're re-doing our whole downstairs floors, finally! Can't wait!

Our hot water heater blew up on Saturday morning, luckily my Dad was here to help me out.

Greg's looking to sell his route and get a new job, with diesel prices so high, it's killing us.

Gabe's new binky holder.

2008-04-02T08:14:00.002-04:00

He loves it.

My first baby purchases

2008-04-02T08:12:00.001-04:00

for only $9.00 at Kohl's!

Easter pics:

2008-03-24T09:58:00.003-04:00

Easter goodies:

Kait and her harmonica:

He fell asleep first:

Bunny!

My mom and Gabe:

Gabe and me:

My mom and Hunter:

Dying easter eggs:

2008-03-24T09:56:00.002-04:00

Pop-Pop and Isha helping:

Me helping Gabe:

9 weeks 5 days

2008-03-17T08:49:00.002-04:00

Just some pics

2008-03-17T08:46:00.001-04:00

Already?!

2008-02-28T08:40:00.001-05:00

Just past 7 weeks, this is crazy. I'm bigger this time around than I was with Gabe at like 12 weeks I think.

Cruise Day 1

2008-02-15T08:22:00.002-05:00

We left for Miami on Saturday morning bright and early. Our flight left Philadelphia at 8:55 AM, so I woke up at 5:00 to drive to my sister's house in Exton. I got there at 7:40, and we hurried off to the parking company that was recommended to my sister. It was a shuttle service.

When we got there, the parking lot was full, so they directed us to a new one that was a little bit down the road. We panicked a little, but got there ok. They drove us there, and in we went. We had times it nice, only about 45 minutes total until our flight left, so we went right through security, and got some coffee. By the time we finished that, it was about 5 mins until we boarded the plane.

The best part about the ride down was we were in first class. My sister has a lot of miles, and she used them for these tickets, and got first class. It was early, yet we still managed to order cranberry juice and vodkas. :) The guy started by giving us one cup with more than a shot in it, then gave us another for the next one. We felt obliged to finish them, so when he saw we were low, he brought us more! Of course we finished those too, so by the time we hit Miami we were pretty nicely buzzed. Before noon. LOL

We landed, and took the shuttle to the Courtyard Marriot Airport South. It was the host hotel for the pre-party for the cruise. We checked in, and minus the mess downstairs due to renovations, it was quite nice. we went right to lunch, since we were starving. We saw a little cuban restaurant down the road, so walked there. We were not impressed with the service, as they were rude and ignored us, and the food was good, until I found a hair in it. We paid, and left. I think I got poisoning from it a bit, because I was sick all that night then.

We hung around the room waiting for our friend Lisa to come to Miami, and she finally came at 5:40. Around this time, we went downstairs to the preparty, and booked our shuttle tickets to the port for tomorrow morning. We checked out the party, but at 7 dollars a hotdog or cheeseburger, and 7 dollars for a can of beer, we decided to walk to a sub place down the road.

We ate dinner, and then went back to the party. It was an insane crush of people, so after walking around a bit, we decided to head back to the room. We all got in pj's and watched a scary movie on TV, followed my Mythbusters. Then we went to bed. I tossed and turned until morning. I was too excited to sleep.

Sunday coming soon...

It was that kind of party.

2008-02-14T12:17:00.001-05:00

My cruise!

2008-02-11T10:05:00.001-05:00

Photobucket Album

So, I'm pregnant again.

2008-02-07T15:56:00.000-05:00

Another surprise baby. We're hoping this one isn't an ectopic pregnancy like the last one. I got bloodwork done on Tuesday, and the results were 295. So, I went today, and we're hoping they doubled nicely.

I don't know how long I have to do the bloodwork, but once my numbers get high enough, I'll get an ultrasound to see if the baby is where he/she should be.

I'm dying here, waiting for tomorrow. Here's to a fast night!

I'm due October 16th, provided this one is in the right spot.

Hunter being silly, Gabe crying, Kids smiling.

2008-01-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

What I'll be enjoying come Sunday.

2008-01-22T15:45:00.000-05:00

Dang it

2008-01-22T15:43:00.001-05:00

I lost the bottom to my bathing suit! Now I need to try to find a new one tomorrow.

Yup!

2008-01-18T08:40:00.000-05:00

Some new pics of me

2008-01-18T08:37:00.000-05:00

It's been a while.

Some good news!

2008-01-18T08:33:00.000-05:00

About three weeks ago Greg was upset because he lost the ski resorts as an account. This is a big dent in my pocket.

At the same time we were trying to get a new restaurant that does a good deal of business, and would be a big asset. They decided to stick with who they had, even though were not happy with them in the first place. So double the loss.

Fast forward to today, where the restaurant calls Greg and says they made a big mistake, and can he bring them bread. Woohoo! At the least this place will bring us an extra $400.00 a month. In the summer it's even busier, and to top it off, a new water park is opening right next door to it in a few month. An indoor water park, so business will probably pick up even more.

Woohoo!

9 days...

2008-01-17T09:08:00.000-05:00

Til I'm in sunny Miami!

Mother of the year award..

2008-01-17T09:01:00.000-05:00

Goes to me!

I was getting ready to work out, and I have a Reebok fitness ball. Well, being lazy (ironic, huh?) I decided to toss it over to where I work out. Which happens to be right next to where Hunter was eating.

BAD idea. Bad, bad idea. *hides head in shame*

It bounced off his toy, which threw it to the left, which means it landed on his bowl of cereal, proceeded to spill it all over him, then hit him in the face.

Hunter ended up with a bowl of cereal in his lap, milk running down his forehead, and a sore nose.

Yup, I rock.

*Accepts award graciously*

"I'd like to thank...."

Kaitlyn

2008-01-11T09:18:00.000-05:00

She's such an emotional girl. She cries at least once a day. She puts the image into my head of the phrase "She cries when someone blinks". She literally does.

This was yesterday:

Cry number 1: Greg told her he found gum upstairs on the sink in the bathroom. He nicely told her not to do it. She said it wasn't her, and he said "I don't care who did it, just make sure you don't do it". She cried. (Keep in mind, she's the only one who chews gum in this house, besides us, and we don't leave it laying around on sinks)

Cry number 2: The boys wouldn't leave her alone while she was doing her homework. So we told her to go upstairs so she could do her work uninterrupted. She cried.

Cry number 3: On the way home from basketball she was thirsty and forgot a drink. She cried.

Cry number 4: On the way home from basketball she bemoaned how far away our house was from the school. (30 mins) She cried.

Cry number 5: On the way home from basketball, she complained her knee hurt when she fell. She cried.

Cry number 6: On the way home from basketball, she was told she needed to stop trying to cry so much. She cried. This lasted the remaining 25 mins of the ride, intercepted with us trying to reason with her. I told her she seemed like she only cried for attention most of the time, she cried harder.

Cry number 7: She was being a cat, and decided it would be fun to jump out at Hunter and hiss. He screamed and cried because she scared the shit outta him. She was upset she upset him. She cried.

This was all from 4:00 to 7:45 pm. This is a normal day. Greg worried she was bi-polar or something. I thinks she's just an attention seeking, emotional, sensitive girl.

I talked to my Mom today, who told me, according to her, she is like I was as a child.

God help us all.

Here's a few pics:

2008-01-10T11:03:00.000-05:00

Hunter on Christmas morning

Do I look fat? Tell the truth!

Gabe opening a present.

My two older sweeties!

It's been a while.

2008-01-10T10:48:00.000-05:00

So I figured I'd post a few updates for those of you that still read this, due to some subtle urging from a dear friend. ;)

1. When Kaitlyn is done this marking period around the end of January, she'll be starting a cyber school program, where she gets to stay at home and go to school via an online classroom. I'm looking forward to this new venture, and am hopeful that it will work out., It's through a PA school district, so it has the structure of real school, yet the flexibility of homeschooling. And best of all, she's home with us. Here's a link to the site for those of you interested: http://www.pacyber.org/

2. I leave in 16 days for my cruise with my fave band ever, Barenaked Ladies. I can't wait, Greg is watching the kids, with the help of a girl in my church, and I'm going with my sister and friend who are both huge BNL fans as well. I also won tickets to wine tasting with Steve, and the songwriter's panel with the whole band, so I'm quite thrilled. Only 70 people on the whole ship got in to wine tasting. We are sailing out on the Carnival Victory from January 27th to febuary 1st.

3. Greg is doing ok, business wise, but we lost one of our major accounts in the winter, the ski resorts. So we're a bit nervous about money, I just hope it all works out. It's tight as it is.

4. Kaitlyn's playing basketball, and she loves it. She has a lot to learn yet, but she loves playing. She practices every Thursday night, and has games every Saturday afternoon. Her team is undefeated so far, she's gotten a basket once.

5. My dad had surgery for his Crohn's disease, and he's recovering nicely. So he's doing good.

I think that's it. We're still doing natural family planning, and I'm still weighing whether I want to get my tubes tied, or not. I'm becoming catholic and I feel that whole guilt thing with the whole birth control issue, so I just don't know.

My baby

2007-11-25T20:56:00.000-05:00

Everytime I hold a baby girl, I hold back tears....

I think the baby I lost was a girl....

I'm amazed how much it still hurts....

Tis the Season

2007-11-09T09:17:00.000-05:00

To be broke...
falalalalalalalala
Get those toys or kids will cry...
falalalalalalalala

So tis that time of year again. Fun, fun. I'm trying to buy a few things at a time, but it's hard. i did just buy 170 pokemon cards off of ebay for Kaitlyn for $26.00. I think that's good. LOL But when you have 3 kids, it's hard to plan how to economically do everything.

I'm thinking Gabe will get some art supplies, and some matchbox cars. Maybe one bigger toy, but not sure what yet. Maybe some play food for their play kitchen.

Hunter will get art supplies, matchbox cars, playdough, and probably one new big truck for his monstrous collection. Maybe some mega-blocks too.

Kaitlyn will get some books, pokemon cards, a basketball, prob a DS game or 2, and maybe a Wii game or two. Art supplies, and maybe a crafty type of thing. Definitely not Aqua Dots though. ;)

He's my son

2007-11-05T09:37:00.000-05:00

I finally have proof Gabe is mine. I got it yesterday morning, when we were eating breakfast. On the menu was chocolate chip pancakes.

He ate a whole pancake pretty much immediately. Well, I wasn't very hungry, so I mostly picked out the parts with the chocolate, and ate those. Great example, right?

Well, anyway, he finished and seemed to want more. So I offered him my leftovers that were now devoid of chocolate. He proceeded to pick the pieces apart, and look for chocolate. When he saw there was none, he politely gave them back. AKA threw them on the floor.

Praise God, he is my son.

I haven't bitched in a while

2007-11-02T10:19:00.000-04:00

Things are going pretty crappy here. We are doing bad, money wise, mostly because of diesel prices. They have gone up horribly lately, and add that to our already decreased sales due to the time of year, and it adds up to be no fun bill wise here. We have been stressed, and lately had been taking it out on each other, but we talked yesterday about that, so hopefully that part is over at least.

It's just so hard to be happy and civil when you are so freaking stressed about everything going on. The bills are piling up, and all late. The truck is getting up there in miles, and the transmission could go any day. The school Greg had wanted to go to turned up to be bad, and the other one that looks reputable is too much money for us to pull off. My job has been dead, so no money there. We cancelled cable, and I feel guilty my kids no longer will have nick jr and noggin. Greg's job sucks, but we're stuck in it because we own the damn thing.

We had been thinking about trying to get into an officer program for Coast Guard, but now, once again, the college thing isn't looking promising. And we can't just enlist in the coast guard, because if you have more than 2 dependants, you need a financial waiver, AKA good credit, which we no longer have. So then we were thinking about Air Force, but once again the whole being stuck in the business, could we just walk away? And the house, it's next to impossible to sell, thanks to the housing market. We are well, and truly, stuck. Part of me just wants to enlist in air force, and sat fuck it, let them take the house, foreclose, and say fuck it. But then our credit will be even more fucked, and he'd probably get in trouble in the military for losing his house.

And I feel so damn guilty I'm going on a cruise with BNL in January, even though I'm so freaking excited. So even that makes me feel bad. But we already paid the cruise off, bought my passport, and my hotel and plane tickets. So it's stupid to back out now with no refunds available. I still need to find a babysitter for that week too. Ugh.

It sucks to be so stuck, and fucked.

First house we went to.

2007-11-01T10:30:00.000-04:00

Trick or Treat!

2007-11-01T10:04:00.001-04:00

Hunter was a Jeep, Kait a Victorian Vampire, and Gabe a Honey Pot (for Pooh).

Kaitlyn's school parade.

2007-11-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

Here's some pics from her parade, though most of it is of the boys, since we only saw Kait for about 10 seconds, LOL.

Who'd think someone this cute...

2007-10-23T08:45:00.000-04:00

Could puke so much? Hours after this photo was taken, she had puked on the wall, the floor in her room, the hallway, the bathroom, her bed, and the stairs. All with 2 pukes. After I spent an hour disinfecting the house, she then got a trash can for in her bed, and puked 6 more times.

So fun. We think it is because we ate at Greg's mother's house. Every time we eat there, we feel sick. So hopefully, it won't be passed around. But time will tell.

2007-10-06T10:04:00.001-04:00

Haircuts!

2007-10-06T09:59:00.001-04:00

I fought with the van door...

2007-08-10T15:31:00.000-04:00

And it won.

Just a couple pics..

2007-08-09T16:23:00.001-04:00

Take it Back-BNL

2007-07-31T08:43:00.000-04:00

It's hard enough to notice
Harder still to react
Just a stone's throw from the centre of our attention
We all fade to black

Save me from a villainous imagination
Deliver me from my friends
If I said something to make you mad
I will take it back

It's hard enough to stomach
But try to look away
Is this a news report or a trailer for a motion picture?
It all fades to grey

Save me from a villainous imagination
Deliver me from my friends
If I said something to make you mad
I will take it back

Long lines and warning signs
Think of all the lives saved by plastic knives
It's naive, but make-believe
We will never lose if we remove our shoes

It's hard to keep your mouth shut
Harder still to make noise
But we can't have the perfect 20/20 hindsight
That our fate enjoys

So save me from a villainous imagination
Deliver me from my friends
And if I said something to make you mad
I will take it back
I will take it back

To my baby

2007-07-26T17:03:00.000-04:00

Lost July 20, 2007
Gestation: 7 weeks
EDD: 03-07-08

While I never held you in my arms,
I often dreamt of your face.
Your bouncing curls,
Your chubby legs.

You ran while looking back,
Laughing as Gabe chased you.
This I cannot forget,
This I yearn for.

I will hold this thought
In my head and in my heart.
Until the day comes,
When I can join you.

Ectopic Pregnancy.

2007-07-26T16:50:00.000-04:00

That's what I had. I went in for surgery on Friday, and when they cut me open, I had just begun to blkeed internally. So I'm glad I didn't blow it off until Monday like I debated doing. I really didn't think I had an ectopic pregnancy. But I agreed to the surgery bc I was already going under for a d&c, so I agreed with the docs logic to do it all at once. He was fairly certain mine was an ectopic pregnancy, due to my numbers being low, and rising and falling.

So I've been recovering since Friday night. I'm also weaning Gabe, so I am uncomfortable there. But hanging in there.

Just wanted to update you guys.

2007-07-17T12:32:00.000-04:00

And we can argue 'till our throats are sore
About how far you take a metaphor.
You always deign to see the glass half filled
And now it seems to me the half glass spilled.

Excerpt from: Maybe Not by Barenaked Ladies

Well

2007-07-17T12:31:00.000-04:00

I lost the baby. Well, am losing the baby. My numbers dropped even more, after a slight rise, and I have begun some light spotting. So here's hoping I can at least pass this on my own, without surgery.

I am devastated, of course. But trying to cope.

A letter I wrote one of my friends.

2007-07-10T08:27:00.000-04:00

For 8 years, I have been very close friends with a friend of mine. She got married shortly after me, and had 3 kids. Then, all of a sudden, she preferred partying to mothering. She is never home, and we never really speak anymore, due to our changes in lifestyles. So, I wrote this. The response will probably be ugly, if I get any at all. But, I had to at least try to help, because as I said, I really have nothing to lose anymore.

I've been trying to call you for a while, but decided this is probably the best place to contact you, since you never answer and never seem to call me back anymore. I understand, to an extent. But it still sucks.

I am writing you because I am worried about you, and as a friend who loves you like a sister, I feel I need to try to talk to you. And as I mentioned above, I feel this is the only way I will get to.

I'm worried about you and Jarrett, and the girls. I know it's hard to be at home with the kids all day. Believe me I know. But going out and drinking all the time DOES NOT help. It will (and prob is) ruining your marriage. Jarrett is at fault too. Part of me is convinced the reason you keep going out is to try to get some sort of reaction out of him. Something to show he cares. Make him yell, but he keeps just letting it go on and on. Maybe that makes you feel he doesn't care? Or maybe you want to push him til he breaks, because then you can have an excuse to leave?

I know it is fun to go out and party. You did it before you were married as you always say. Well, now you are married and you have 3 kids who are counting on you and Jarrett. You need to be home for them, not out partying the night away. When you are out late, you say that they are asleep anyway, but you suffer the next day when they are up, bc you are beat. Therefore they don't get to play as much with you. Also, they notice how Mommy always isn't home, I'm sure. They're old enough to wonder why you don't want to be home. Why you don't spend time with them or Daddy.

I know you pride yourself on doing anything and everything for your friends. But isn't Jarrett your friend too? He needs you. He needs time with you just to be a couple. Doesn't every couple need that? I know Greg and I need our time together, or we don't get along.

These people you are going drinking with, eventually they will grow up and get married, have kids etc. Where will that leave you, if you let your marriage slip away. What if you and Jarrett divorce? Then you'll be alone, with no family, and you're friends will be too busy with their own lives to take time out to party with you. I feel you've pushed your real friends away for your party ones. I know some of your party friends are friends you have had longer than me. But whens the last time you talked to Lisa? Nicole? Me? I know it's been at least a month since we spoke, alone. I bet it's been a while for them too. I bet if you called them and asked them how they felt about your partying, honestly, they would tell you. Because we are no longer part of your life as much anymore since we don't go out partying with you (I know Lisa does when she is home, but if she lived here, she would not as much).

I have been a single mom, I know the allure of "Jarrett will take the kids every weekend, and I can party, it will be great". But that's rarely how it works out. Jarrett would probably remarry, maybe even fight you for custody. How would you afford the girls without him? How would you afford daycare? Rent? Would you like your girls calling someone else Mommy? Someone going to bed every night with Jarrett? Making love to him every night? Jarrett telling someone else how much he loves them? Can you really stand that thought?

If so, maybe you should just leave, and put you both out of your misery, because from what I have seen and experienced, neither of you are happy. And I love you both too much to see you both miserable. If you don't want to be with your family anymore, then by all means, go. But just really, really think about it before you decide, either way. Because going on as you have is just not good for anyone involved..you or the girls. If you can't swallow your pride, and talk to
Jarrett, really talk, I don't mean "I tried and he blew me off", then go.

But the grass ain't greener on the other side, I assure you. And Once it's over, it's over.

I know this is a lot to digest here, but I feel I need to say something, as someone who loves you. I feel I have nothing to lose, because you have already pushed me away from you. So if you do so more, I at least hope I helped as a friend, even if you now hate me. But I have to at least try. I do love you, and really miss talking to you about marriage and kids every day like we used to. Now, you just never seem to want to to talk about that, or me. And I miss it, and I miss you.

BTW, I'm pregnant again. I was trying to call you and tell you that.

Love you, and hope you write/call back, bc I do love you.

Pregnancy woes...

2007-07-10T08:21:00.000-04:00

I've been nonstop crampy since yesterday morning, it was worse yesterday, but still here now. I called my doc, and they had me go get bloodwork done, and will then follow it up with either more bloodwork, an ultrasound, or both.

So here I wait, waiting to hear if I'm losing the baby. Fun stuff. I think I'm okay though, I think I'm just cramping more than I did with the others, for whatever reason. As long as the reason isn't that there's twon in there or a miscarriage, I will be fine.

I'll update whenever I hear something. It will probably be today or tommorrow.

It happened again.

2007-07-02T16:06:00.000-04:00

I'm pregnant. I'm on the pill. But, yet again, I'm pregnant. God apparently felt we needed another, I suppose.

I'm due somewhere around March 7th, 2008, which is my twin nephews first bday.

Early birthday present.

2007-06-26T14:48:00.000-04:00

Kaitlyn's useless sack of shit biological father got arrested for not paying child support again. So he just paid $570.00 in one shot to my account for his court hearing on Thursday.

So what did I do?

I got Kaitlyn her birthday present ahead of time. A Wii, that comes with 5 sports games, the remote, and I got her an extra remote in a pack with another 9 games.

I can't wait til Augugst 16th! She's gonna have a heart attack!

I finally...

2007-06-25T17:47:00.001-04:00

Get a comment, come here all excitedly, and it is spam.

Go figure.

Does anyone even read this thing?

Sobering news

2007-06-21T16:07:00.000-04:00

Greg got out of the marines in June 2004. His unit was getting ready to leave for Iraq after having been back for about 9 months. For a while it looked like they were going to make him go, and stay longer than he was contracted for. But late June 2004 we came back home as scheduled.

I stumbled upon a website for all the fallen heroes of the war, and shared it with Greg. He saw lots of his previous buddies on that list, unfortunately.

But the most unnerving one for me was the fact that the man who had replaced Greg's position in his unit at team leader of the mortar squad, was killed in enemy action on August 18, 2004. He was killed along with a few others from 1/4 that day, in a cemetery. He left behind a wife, a son, and an infant son. He was 27 years old. I hope his family is doing OK. Rest in peace Sgt. Parkerson.

If it were Greg there, he would have never met Hunter. And obviously Gabe would not be here. Who knows where I would be in my life right now. Without Greg here physically. I thank God he is still here.

Visit to Ocean City, NJ

2007-06-10T12:42:00.000-04:00

Go figure

2007-06-07T22:21:00.000-04:00

All during the school year, Kaitlyn's been up entirely too late. I've had to force her to go to sleep.

Tonight, her first night of summer vacation, and she's asleep by 9:45.

Go figure.

He's done me in...

2007-06-05T15:10:00.000-04:00

I was napping with Hunter, and he was playing with his trucks. Next thing I know, stars explode in my head. Well..

He knocked down the huge picture I have above my bed (a big heavy painting I have in a frame, glass and all) and it landed with the CORNER right on my head.

Now my whole freaking head it throbbing. Even moving a strand of hair is painful.

Fun. Real fun.

Jealously rears it's ugly head.

2007-05-04T09:42:00.000-04:00

And no, I'm not talking about the kids. It's me, this time. Nice huh?

Long ago, Tina (my eldest sister) stopped hanging out with Cynthia (my middle sister) because she got busy with her friends. Cynthia was very hurt, and betrayed. Around this time, I moved back to PA so we hung out a lot.

It helped that I had babies too, because Cynthia loves babies. Well, for the past 2 years I have been the one she wanted to hang out with, and we've been very close. She'd come up at least 2 times a month. Stay all weekend. It was so much fun.

Last year Tina got pregnant. Well, she had the babies in March. She stopped hanging out with her friends because they have different lifestyles than a pregnant mom, and now a mom of twin babies. Now all the time, Cynthia is there. She has been up 2 times in 3 1/2 months. Both times were times when the whole family came up, not just because she wanted to.

She goes to Tina's like 3 times a week. Now, Tina lives closer (She's 30 mins away, I'm 2 hours), but that never stopped her from coming before. It's just because she has 2 babies and Tina is suddenly available, that I get forgotten.

So, now I feel like she felt when Tina brushed her to the side. Only, I don't have another sister to turn to, because Tina's too busy being a mom. Plus, Tina is the one she is now hanging out with, instead of me.

I know this is childish, but man, I feel betrayed. I tried to get her to come up early this weekend, but today she's going to Tina's. She can't even come see Gabe the day after his birthday? If this were last year, she'd have been here last night, work night or not. But no, she has to go see the babies. Not mine, because something bigger and better came along.

OK, I think I am done complaining now, but I really am hurt.

Ugh.

2007-04-22T17:29:00.000-04:00

-I have pink eye. I've been on meds for almost 48 hours, so I *think* I'm not contagious anymore. I hope to God no one else gets it in this house. Or it could be an awful, never-ending cycle of disease. On top of pink eye, I have a horrible cold, with a cough that would make an emphysema patient cringe. I don't know if it's more than a cold, or just a plain old cold, but man oh man, my chest hurts like you wouldn't believe.

-Greg bought a new grill, because ours took a dump. So he is currently assembling that, so we can have BBQ tonight, I love warm weather! Makes me want corn on the cob too.

-Gabe's birthday is 1 1/2 weeks away, and his part is 2 weeks away, I have not done a single thing for this occasion yet. Slacker, much?

-I am pleased to announce I am back to my normal size in clothes, and can wear my pre-Hunter pants! I am very, very happy about this! It's about damn time, too.

-I will be weaning Gabe soon. I have been trying to cut back a little bit, but I hope it goes easy. I'm really hoping it goes well, but I'm not sure it will. I'm looking forward to having my boobs back to myself, and Greg of course. ;)

-Last night we started out to go to Lowe's, but instead ended up in Binghampton, NY. We ate at Denny's. Kaitlyn was so excited to be in New York, even though all we did was eat at Denny's. She said it was the best day ever. LOL

I guess that's it for now!

The good and the bad

2007-04-17T10:41:00.000-04:00

Though the good outweighs the bad, in this case.

The bad:
I'm sick. My throat is killing me, my nose is stuffy and I'm coughing. This after we all finally got over the stomach virus as it hit us all one by one. Now I guess this cold is the next one to go around the house. And I have to go to work tonight. And tomorrow night.

Speaking of work, apparently there was a meeting today at 9:30. Supposedly it was up on the board for a week. I know that is a lie because I looked Saturday to make sure she had the days I requested off correct, and she did. I requested off from May 3-6 for Gabe's first birthday. So, they must have put it up Sunday, and I haven't been in since Saturday. So now everyone has to come in on Friday because I wasn't told about it.

Which brings me to this: I am so sick of these freaking meetings. This is the 3rd in 2 months, come on now. I'm in this as a part time job to make extra cash, not to go listen to my boss drone on about how things have changed in his restaurant, and how good it is. Spare me please. I can't wait til I am done working, because when Greg is busier I am going to have to quit.

The good:

Greg's Grand pop redeemed himself last night. We met him and his parents for dinner by us, and for his birthday, Greg's parents gave him $100.00, and Greg's grand pop gave him $5,000.00. Yup, I typed that right. So we can pay off Tony, our Visa card, our MasterCard, and our Lowe's card. And I can pay more on my cruise.

It's always nice

2007-04-07T09:45:00.000-04:00

When your seven year old daughterwatches a Proactiv commercial with Jessica Simpson talking about her acne and goes-

"Mommy you should get that, because you get bumps on your skin too. Did I just hurt your feelings? Sorry if I did, but you do."

Ahh the honesty of kids...

Some more pics

2007-04-05T09:43:00.000-04:00

Hunter at church

Kait at church.

Us getting communion. Notice Kait clinging to me.

My sister and Gabe.

Hunter's new do.

Kaitlyn had her first communion last week, so some pics are from that. She refused to take the wine, because it tastes bad. I also cut Hunter's hair, so thats those pics too.

Just one of those days...

2007-04-02T13:36:00.000-04:00

I am so having one of those days. Those stressful days where everything seems to go wrong. Ever had them? I'm sure you have. The kids are crying. One is sick. The dog is pooping everywhere. She has blood in her poop.

Yeah, it's been that kind of day. Gabe has an appointment tonight because he has had a pretty nasty cough for the past week. Hasn't gone away. No fever, nothing else, just a cough. Greg says he doesn't need to go in, so I called and asked. Nurse said he definitely needs to go in. So, in he goes.

Dog? Well, we are making her a vet appointment to see what the deal is. I hope it's nothing serious.

Here she is

2007-03-30T10:38:00.000-04:00

Oh, and I chose to take a bath and drink beer until Greg got home. He said he wasn't sorry, because I got to take a bath.

He's really done it now.

2007-03-29T17:00:00.000-04:00

He's pissed me off. He was tickling Kait and she yelled at him. He all crankily announces he is not going to the store now and goes inside. I then follow him in and tell him that he needs to stop acting like this in front of our kids, and to get in the truck.

He tells me to drive (he knows I don't drive his truck) so I say, fine, I am not getting them out, you get them out. I'm going to our room. He then goes outside, so I come out to help him get the kids, and he peels out of the driveway without me, taking the kids with him.

So I'm stuck at home with no keys (they are in the truck) and left at home like the bad person I apparently am bc I called him on his childishness (is that a word?). Fucker. I soo wanna leave so I am not here when he gets home, but can't.

I'm debating hiding out in the car so he wonders where I am. O hiding in the bedroom and not coming out all night. Or sitting here all relaxed with beer when he comes home, like he didn't upset me. But all I'm doing is crying....

We got a new dog

2007-03-29T12:56:00.000-04:00

I don't really have any pics to share, but we used to have a dog in California that was a mini schnauzer named Scooby. When we moved to PA, he died. He was on a chain in the backyard with our other dog at the time, Hawke. Well, somehow while we were gone, he got tangled in it, and choked himself to death. Very traumatic.

After time, I grew to dislike Hawke. He was too big, too smelly, etc. I prefer small dogs, like Scooby. Plus, Scooby didn't shed. So I decided I hated dogs, and didn't want one anymore. My older sister Tina took my dog, Hawke. I was not all that sad to see him go. But afterward, I missed the companionship.

Enter our cat, Mimi. I loved Mimi, loved having her (even though she annoyed the crap out of me sometimes). But that's normal. Then we moved in with Grandpop, and he made us lock her up constantly. That was not fair to her, at all. So, I asked my other sister if she wanted her (she had hinted at it before). She said yes, and took her.

Now, I know this makes me look bad, but I am not a bad pet owner. Hawke I truly disliked having, and I admit it. I made a mistake in my judgement there. Scooby I liked, but he died. Mimi I liked, but we thought we would be at Grandpop's indefinitely, so we got rid of her. So I only disliked the one dog experience I had.

But now, we got another Mini Schnauzer and she is a girl. She was born 12/16/06 and is quite cute. Unfortunately, Greg named her a boy name. Diesel. I am in love with her already. A small dog, that doesn't shed and looks like Scooby. I'm in heaven. She's even getting the potty training thing down, only one accident when we first got home. And even that didn't bother me. She even sat in poop, and I bathed her. Those of you who know me know that's big. I wouldn't even go near Hawke bc he smelled like poop.

Why by mini rant, instead of just informing you I have a dog? Because Cynthia made a comment about how I can't give her this one. I didn't want to, I assure you. And as I said, I know it looks like I get rid of way too many pets, but I only wanted to get rid of Hawke. I still miss Mimi and Scooby. One whom I gave away because I was forced to, and one who died.

But anyway, I don't have any pics, but you can google mini schnauzer to see what my new family member, Diesel, looks like.

Which I love already. So kiss my butt, anyone who wants to lecture me.

Oy...

2007-03-26T12:44:00.000-04:00

Today has been one of those days.
from last night until 6:45 Gabe was up 4 times.
6:45 feed Gabe, lay him down.
7:00 Gabe talking, bring him down to my bed.
7:00-7:25 Gabe fusses in my bed.
7:25 feed Gabe in my bed, he falls asleep
7:35 Hunter up. Wake up Gabe, get Hunter.
8:00 Breakfast and give Kait medicine because she is home sick.
8:30 Pour the meds Kait hasn't taken down her throat and hold her nose.
8:35 She finally swallows
8:35.5 She pukes it up. I send her to bed
8:40 Call doc. He says bring her in at 6:45 PM. It's 1 hr 15 mins away.
9:00 Sweep, Mop, Vacuum, Start dishes, start laundry.
9:30 Hunter is missing. Unlock bathroom door to find him.
9:31 Call poison control to see if swallowing a lot of Listerine Agent Cool Blue is dangerous.
9:45 Take nail file away from Hunter.
9:46-12:49 Yell at Hunter all day to stop pushing Gabe, to start sharing with Gabe, to not throw toys, etc.
12:51 Is it naptime yet?

Just a few pics.

2007-03-22T09:04:00.000-04:00

So I was a cocktail waitress last night.

2007-03-22T08:59:00.000-04:00

At my job, I am normally a normal waitress. I work in a local bar, that has a decent size dining room to it. It has been dead, dead, dead. Last Saturday I went home at 7:30 with $15.00. The tips there are really good, but with only 3 tables all night, you're not looking at much. If you have 5 tables you usually walk away with 35-45 dollars.

Well, every Wednesday night we have Free Texas Hold Em tournaments. So they decided to have a a cocktail waitress/waiter on those nights, to serve everyone at the tables. So I worked from 6-11 serving drinks and watching poker, and made $45.00. I'm not so sure I liked it. It was easy, because it was just drinks, but the hours are later, and the money wasn't that great.

So I am reserving judgment on the whole cocktail waitress thing. We'll see if I am doing it next week or if they will alternate who does it.

Greg's truck

2007-03-21T09:36:00.000-04:00

As some of you already know, Greg got in an accident a few weeks ago. A chunk of ice flew offan oncoming truck, and went right through his windshield. It hit his steering wheel, which I believe saved his life. He walked away with a bunch of scratches on his face.

Here's a few pics of the truck after the accident. Notice how far back the steering wheel is bent, and the center console that is hanging down.

What makes a good parent?

2007-03-20T11:24:00.000-04:00

A cup of attention? A dash of discipline? What do you do if you overuse one or the other? Add more to compensate? What if all you end up with is a big overflowing bowl of some sort of pasty substance that will forever change your child's life?

Sometimes I have to wonder if Greg and myself are good parents. Does it make me a bad parent that I am sitting here on the computer, typing away while my kids are awake and here? Should I be playing with them instead, all day every day? Are the days where I sit here in my happy little blogger world cancelled out by the tickles, the kisses, the hugs, the chasing, and the love I share at other times throughout the day, or should I devote more time to my kids? To teaching them their colors..instead of tickling? Is my one on one time with my children useless, or should I just enjoy the giggles?

Kaitlyn recently stole $15.00 from me. Why? Because she wanted more money. We didn't ground her, but she gave the money back and she gets no TV for a week. If she were grounded, she would have to be in her room from the time she gets home til she goes to bed, coming down only for dinner. Should I have been more strict, or was I too strict?

Should I make a detailed schedule of what my days should be like? Breakfast at 8? Playtime until 9? Mommy computer time til 10? Colors and numbers til 11? I have been tempted to do this, and stick to it, but is that just feeding my obsession to have everything be perfect, and will it help, or will I just keep stressing about my parenting?

These indecision's in life are what I now know are my common stress factors. I just can't shut off my brain from worrying about every little thing, one of the many are my parenting skills, or possible lacking skills. How does one know if they are doing a good job in raising a child, or in my case, children? My kids are alive, healthy minus colds and bruises from falls, and seemingly happy. Is that enough? Should it be enough?

Why is it?

2007-03-19T23:33:00.000-04:00

Why is it that your baby will always wait until you decide that he is finally asleep, so it's time for you to get cozy in bed, before he cries out...yet again?

I'm so freaking tired, but hey, who needs sleep anyway?

Some updates.

2007-03-19T13:31:00.000-04:00

1. I don't know whether Gabe is teething or sick, but he has been sleeping horribly, and has a nonstop runny nose. I haven't taken him to the doc, because his only symptoms is he's up at night, and he has a snotty nose. Hopefully, it is nothing serious.

2. We are actually getting money back for our taxes. I am very very excited about this. We have to file an amendment because they owe us even more than we originally thought, so after we file that and send it in, we'll get even more back. Thank God, because we needed a break. Finally.

3. We also got our truck back, and it looks better than when it went in. Good as new. Greg saved the steering wheel that saved his life. It's really bent back.

4. In January, I go on a cruise with my favorite band, Barenaked Ladies. To top it off, we are going to Grand Cayman and Ocho Rios, Jamaica as well. Oh, and no kids, as Greg will be watching them. He can't get off of work, but I am going with my sister and best friend, both very big Barenaked Ladies fans as well.

I guess that is it for now, but I will be back.

My new page

2007-03-19T12:53:00.000-04:00

I had a blog I worked on for quite some time, and on a whim I deleted it, due to some nasty comments I got involving porn, and a guy doing inappropriate things to his sister. I lost all my past posts, all my links to my fellow bloggers.

Yet, here I am starting a new page, as I do often in life. Join me, if you wish. I can't promise excitement, but I can promise honesty.

See you along the way.